X Attack

November 16, 2009

They knew I’m single again.. and they want me back?

Why?

Coz I’m the best… I’m the fucking best lover they ever had…

Dear Tummy

November 11, 2009

I want to keep you

November 9, 2009

When words like “I want to keep you” and “I like you more than I should” are said to you by a guy you’ve been training not to get so attached to because you did not expect anything from him and you didn’t think he’d want to get serious what would you do?

You have put this barrier and drew a line between romantic friends and lovers…

are you jumping into the other side of the definition?

Before I said, I’d hate to define things because it’s ruining everything…

But there are times when you need to…

Time is now…

Confusion

November 8, 2009

Now I’m confused…

FARK!

Ever feel that sometimes you have too many options? … You like them all but you only need to choose one?

DOUBLE FARK!

He said

November 6, 2009

He said “I think I’m liking you now, more than I should” …

He also said earlier “That’s what… er.. friends.. are for…” (with a dropping tone on the “friends are for”)

He kept on saying he missed me so much when he was gone, and that next time he’s gonna bring me with him and fit me in a box or something…

—–

I …

don’t know what to say… I don’t know how I feel…

If before he left, he said all these, it would have captured my heart…

 

—-

But…

my heart, as of now, longs for someone else…

somewhere distant… near but far…

this someone is going home…

and I longed for our reunion so bad…

the first time I met him I thought I felt really weird… when I saw his eyes… I felt home…

 

—

I… am… 

in trouble…

AGAIN!

Clubbing and men

November 2, 2009

Guess what… I just got single!

 

You know what this means… It’s time for Candy to flirt!

 

I was at this black party… I was not aware of the club’s theme and I came from another party… BTW, I’m wearing ALL - WHITE!!!  I think my outfit is the culprit of it all because amongst the people on the crowded (super crowded) dance floor… the girl in white just stood out!

 

I received flirty stares… cheers … nods… some horny stares (but I don’t want to dwell on this one) and some just friendly “Hi’s”.

As I made my way to our dance spot all I could ever think of was Paris Hilton’s favorite line.. “Life is too short to blend in.”  That night, I just could not help but smile… I guess the smile intensified the magnet… the pull of attraction of these men to me lol.

On the average I’d say at least 20 turned around to stare… 5 introduced themeselves… 3 made a lousy attempt (but I gave a no-interest fac good thing they got a clue)… 3 who asked for my number…

There was this jologs guy who asked me “Can I get your DIGITS?”

I’m like … EH?!?!?!

He looked like a carpenter or construction worker or something and I was like… it figures…  But even if he looks cute.. for him to pull that line… DIGITS??? holy mother of pearls.. hell no!

Good thing this cute guy came to the rescue… and introduced himself… I was glad he did that…  althought he looked cute .. tall… nice eyes… lean body and nice smile… all that stuff… I just played a little… welcomed the flirting.. but I really did not have much interest on him… weird?

Then I was on my way to the toilet when this guy just caught my attention “Hey, where’s my Candy?” 

 

I was confused because I AM FLAIR CANDY!  I thought he knew me for my blog or something…

 

“It’s trick or treat time… give me my candy” - stupid me I forgot it’s halloween..

 Him: Hey, you have an accent… where are you from?

Me: I’m just from here… in the Philippines?

(do I really have an accent? coz I get this all the time FARK! )

Him: I just got here in Manila for vacation, I was in the military..

Me: (This is such a coincidence… american boy, Filipino at heart, vacation here in Manila and MILITARY… yes… coincidence…)

Him: (drags me to the wall)

Me: (really really tipsy! and DIZZY)

 

so I let him drag me where ever and he started kissing me!  His effin’ tongue was all over!  I did not want to make a scene so I just pulled over from him and told him that I really need to go to the toilet…

In the toilet… I was glad I could breath…

Through the entire night… all the boys… the men… were ready to get to know me some more … (or probably they just want some bootycall but I gave then none) so sorry to all of your Penises I am not interested lol…

 

The whole night… while all these was happening… I could not stop thinking of this boy I just met… He was there in my mind the entire night…

He’s really special huh… I guess he is…

My brain might want to deny it… but that night just realized that my heart knows better… Although I have promised myself to put a wall/ a barrier between being casual and falling in love… that wall is slowly tumbling down…

But I know better…

Separating my expectations from reality… that was the best lesson I learned based on my colorful experience…

 

I’m just happy to be feeling this again.. to fall in love again

 

 

Falling in Love

I realized that my new posts lately just go around the topic of falling in love again…

 

What are the things that can capture my heart?

 Only two things:

1. A writer
2. Musician

Those two characteristics are my kryptonite… I get weak when I encounter people  matching either criteria… Then… this boy I met have two… I know I’m falling… I seriously do… but I’m separating expectations from reality… and to this point, I could not care more what happens in the future.

I’m just happy I am feeling this right now… falling in love again…